Introducings

Y’all had fun with Vick? Well, congratulations. You just had a sneak peek into the newest, hottest blog in town, and by hot I mean triplesome H.O.T. People, meet Vivacious Victoria, Hot Karen and Stunning Pod. Together, they make the blombastic webpage ingeniously labeled, The Trio. You know what I came to work thinking this morning? How I get to introduce a threesome of stunning, sexy ladies and somehow you’re still here. Go! I’ll make a coffee while I wait. Gwe, first come back. Before you leave I want to explain the difference between Vick and I or me and Vick or I and Vick or whatever.

This is ordinary me…

Eq

And this is Vivacious Vick…

Vicky

The camera wasn’t fully charged.

Womenings

In my lower secondary we had best farter competitions (It’s Bazanye who started those things of talking about people gassing) where the gassers gassed and the gassees determined who was to be voted class captain to make sure there was no teacher in class on the days we didn’t want to be taught. Let me figure out why I just told you that.

I think it’s because I had a crush on this very pretty chic who broke my heart when she made me watch her entering a toilet. And then she made me listen to the sounds of a broken generator. How cruel can one get? You know those things where you grow up knowing Santa exists? For us we grew up knowing beautiful girls don’t do those things. Oh, the pain!

Deathings

I wondered what it’d feel like to drill a nail through someone’s skull without touching any vital organ, bend him over and watch as he sluggishly loses sanity while brain matter slowly sips out of the skull. Then Streetsider shot to mind. And I mulled over it even deeper. You tarnished the idea behind Blogger Whispers, you fella. DK, please go into the good books as the guy who saved a street kid’s life. Give the story to someone else, preferably sworn nemesis, Sleek. Today! Princess, I think the ultimatum is up.

Eatings

I was with a girlfriend friend who is a girl having lunch at certain restaurant X (scars brought on by my primary school math teacher). She kept yapping about failed relationships or some shit in that bracket while I checked my mail using a device Y (and I passed his paper). At some point, she asked a question that, out of failure to allot due cerebral faculty, couldn’t answer. Then she suddenly blurted something in the range of discourteous sarcasm. She said, “Name, why are you not listening to me? It’s like you’re here but you’re not here.” I’m sure Shakespeare’s ghost must have missed a heartbeat over this one. I was seated right in front of said friend who is a girl! Which brings me to my next point.

Thiefings

It’s only two days ago that I realized my sarcasm has gone a trifle too far. My wallet was stolen. Now, that’s not something to even smile about. Only thing that got me off the hook is it only had cash and my campus ID. When I realized it was gone, first thing I said was “Oh no! That was my last stash of porn in there!” Who the fuck in their right mind says that? It’s not even close to funny’s great grand kids, Erique. That wasn’t cool.

See what I just did up there? That’s called intellesturbation or masturbation of one’s intellect. It’s the act of insulting oneself for the sole purpose of pleasuring one’s acknowledged comprehension of his or her stupidity. See what I mean? I just offended myself and made a joke about it!

Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)